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Our childhood memories and experiences up to this point in our lives have shaped our beliefs about what we perceive is true about us as individuals. We carry more baggage than some of us are willing to claim. It’s that baggage that makes us susceptible to the lies we think about ourselves. For example, a little girl who doesn’t get as good of grades as a sibling or isn’t as good at sports, may not feel “good enough.” Negative and hurtful comments follow into adulthood because it’s always those that are remembered the most. Then, she doesn’t get the desired job or the relationship she wished for. Once again she finds herself “not good enough” because she took what happened to be evidence as yet another reason why she doesn’t fit her standard of what it means to be successful. All of the great things she has done along the way have been discounted because her negative belief in herself is so ingrained. The great news is this can be changed! It’s not easy and doesn’t happen at the snap of a finger. It’s a challenge to begin thinking new beliefs about yourself but it is possible. So where do you start? Let me tell you what’s working for me.
First off, prayer is huge! Connection with God and inviting the Holy Spirit to change your heart and your thoughts is the most important. Aside from my relationship with God, I have a life coach. Let me tell you, it’s the best thing I have done for myself! I look forward to our weekly sessions and my “Karen” time. Yes, her name is Karen and no, she does not like Karen jokes. I am pretty sure she is reading this and just rolled her eyes. Love you, Karen! But in all seriousness, she challenges my thinking every week. There are times when she asks me a question and it gets awkwardly quiet. Don’t worry, she will wait for me to respond and then ask more questions. But you know what? It’s exactly what I need! If all we do is get hyped by a motivational speech, video or conference but don’t really do the internal work, nothing really changes. You have to put in the work even when it’s uncomfortable.
A once a week coaching session doesn’t heal you on its own. You need to put into practice what you are working on because that is where the real magic happens. If I want to change my belief that I am unorganized, then I can start by doing simple things, such as telling myself the complete opposite every time I put something away. “Look at you hanging up your coat. Girl, you are organized!…Dang, you just put those groceries away like a rock star!…Wow, look how you just found the remote for your husband!” Okay, that last one… ya’ll get me! You may have read those and thought I was being dramatic over simple everyday tasks. The reason I did this is crucial, your brain has to be provided with evidence to support your new belief. Most importantly it has to be something you perceive as true. Starting simple will help build those blocks that in time will create a solid foundation for your new belief.
This week I encourage you to work on a belief you want to change. It could be simple or it could be more complex. You will see progress if you put in the work. Don’t limit yourself by believing old beliefs that no longer serve you or show God’s craftsmanship in you. Your potential, your FULL POTENTIAL, is calling. As Jesus said in Matthew 19:26, “All things are possible with God!” Are you ready to embrace it?
Leslie
If you have a teenage girl living in your house, it’s highly likely you are aware it’s homecoming season or HOCO as it’s also called. My daughter is a freshman and has been counting down the days since last year to find THE DRESS. AN ENTIRE YEAR, PEOPLE! Finding a dress trumps knowing when the event will be or if you will have a date to the dance. So when I say I felt anxious taking Bella to get the perfect dress, it would be an understatement. What if she didn’t like anything and was devastated by what was available compared to what she saw on the internet or dreamed of in her head? But more so, I was conscientious of the unfair reality that dress sizes come in. The mannequins you see and the one size models who look stunning with a perfectly fitting dress are no match for what the majority of these girls face. And if I’m being honest, it downright sucks. I mean can we celebrate the curvy, the ones with wide hips, or the larger breasted girls or for heaven’s sake how about the girls who are athletes and work out. I mean where are you supposed to put those muscles or strong defined backs and shoulders? But instead of complaining about dress sizes and how they are made I’m going to focus on what we can do to help change the stigma or at the very least help our girls feel more comfortable.
I experience learning curve moments all the time so of course our shopping trip was no exception. As Bella and I were standing in a very long line to the dressing room, I heard people talking about if a dress size was too big or too small. Pretty normal activity, but then I heard a mother explain to her daughter that a specific size in a dress was extremely large, would not fit her and she needed a much smaller size. My heart sank because it was loud enough for many of the girls, who may fit into that exact size or larger, could hear. Now I know the mom did not intend to make anyone feel uncomfortable, self-conscious or down but I couldn’t help to think we can do better. Then it occurred to me, didn’t I just do the exact same thing by seeing a dress and saying it was tiny enough to fit my 2 year old granddaughter? Yep, I did. I had to remind myself that just because someone is a smaller size does not mean they don’t have body issues. There are so many girls, a very high percentage I would say, that do. And I’m sure my comment was just as hurtful.
I’m sure you are thinking well how on earth do you want me to talk about sizing. Yep, I know, I know-it’s hard and sometimes there is no easy way around it. I think the key is to make sure that when you are figuring out what fits and doesn’t, is to be very cognizant of your surroundings and who may overhear. Talking with our daughters about body image issues and understanding where they are coming from will help clear up misconceptions. We need to have open conversation and pour in love and positivity to these young ladies. They need to understand that size doesn’t determine who they are nor does it determine who their friends are or who the girl next to them is in line at the dressing room. Let’s focus on what they like about themselves and have them verbalize it. Let’s teach self love and compassion. Let’s create a different societal perspective and celebrate the uniqueness God created us to be!
Oh, by the way, Bella did find the perfect dress! Can I get a HALLELUJAH?! 🤪
Happy Shopping!
Leslie
Hey, Girl, Hey!
Hi! I’m Leslie, a woman on an adventure to find the true meaning of who I am in this season of life. My 42 year old status and recent decisions may lead one to think I’m in the midst of a midlife crisis, but that’s far from the truth. What I really am is on a purpose driven mission designed by God. Let me tell you my friend, it can be scary and thrilling all at the same time.
I’ll save us from the awkward ice breaking game and give you some basic background. I am extremely blessed to be married to the love of my life, who may drive me crazy, but does provide for some pretty funny entertainment. We have 3 adult children, 2 teenagers and 4 granddaughters. Now to be fair because you may be doing the math on my age and think dang you are a young MiMi, you’d be right; that’s a story for a different day. And because I really like to add in as much responsibility as necessary to myself, insert eye roll here, we have 3 dogs, a cat and a rabbit.
All that sounds pretty normal, right? Well, I made a decision most wouldn’t, I quit a 20 year teaching career. I can hear it now, the thoughts of many of those reading this, “You did what? Are you crazy?” You see I would have probably said the same thing years ago and to be fair there are moments I think those same exact thoughts. But God enters in and tells me it’s okay, you’ve got this because you are Mine and I will not leave nor forsake you. I believe God wants me to lead in a way that is different from my long standing career as a teacher. We all have seasons that serve a different purpose and I’m entering a new one. My whisper from God is to lead other women into deeper, more meaningful relationships with Him. Let me stop you from thinking too highly of me by thinking I’m holier than thou and am in a perfect position to do so. Uhm, absolutely not! What I will tell you is God uses the unqualified to answer his calling because it’s not about my abilities but His power through me. The more you go through, the more junk in your closet, the more imperfections means you have more experience in overcoming and utilizing faith.
Just a few of my personal struggles have been with anxiety, body insecurity, weight gain and binge eating. I had some great experiences with specific programs before but I didn’t approach my journey holistically. When I put my faith in vanity and not God, I felt like I didn’t measure up and handled my stress through binge eating which of course led to weight gain. Then one day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Why wasn’t I putting God at the forefront of my health? Why was I only reserving Him for other categories of my life? You see God isn’t made to be categorized, He doesn’t fit into a box and just like the famous line on Dirty Dancing, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner,” well we shouldn’t put God there either.
So, here I am in front of the whole world, approaching my own personal holistic journey with God in front and center. I will be posting all the goodness and all the oopsies, I’m sure there will be plenty. I’ll be sharing life with you and hope you find some encouragement, gain some understanding and get a ton of laughs.
Here’s to embarking on a new journey!
Leslie
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